Because i want to

cry. hate days like these. my emotions are all over the place because i dont know which situation to start with. everything seems equally just as important, yet all the bad wants to surface first. i dont like that because i have plenty of things to be happy and thankful for. and i especially dont like how just one thing can become everything. what happens when it's a dream come true but can easily be your worst nightmare? the whole "dont put your all your eggs in one basket" sucks too. they are right. but whats any type of "ship" without trust? mother-daughter relationship. friendship. a relationship with a significant other. nothing. luckily all of the eggs havent fallen out yet. and good thing chickens lay multiple eggs in spread out time frames. most of the time... when im mad... i just want to throw that damn basket. sometimes i do. but in the end i see that lonely basket in the middle of nowhere and pick it up bc it was mine to begin with. then i wait for new eggs to replace the ones that were previously broken.. that damn basket carries everything that can make or break my heart. i chose to keep all my eggs in one basket. because i put my whole heart in everything i trust. if someone/thing breaks them then so be it. it will always be replaced.

delete

delete delete delete


today bb told me to live in the present and not in the past
and for certain things ive been able to put it behind me
... i catch myself slippin sometimes
as for what has happened today and to everyone that has been able to get under my skin
... i dont need to be angry anymore. i am fine. i have won.
i just dont like you anymore

after what has happened today. when it's all finally over... i am going to delete it
just like ive already done with dates that were to be remembered, promises, ex bfs

my life may be hectic but
my present is a blessing
my family from the very start
nyl til two thousand and forever (and i could go on forever as to why)
my true friends with open arms and ears

bb always says, "all better. everything will be fine"
i just have to believe in it and always never forget that it will.
*staying positive